I think it is near time to exit this interesting existence.hopefully everyone understands!

I hate my life and wish I were not here.

Way to many years....

Not the most effective blogger here, I will be the first to admit it. It has been about 3 years since I touched this blog....many things have changed.

Last time I wrote I was still in the Woodrow Wilson program, studying to be a teacher. I finished the majority of the program June 2012, and found a job on the east side of MI teaching in a Charter school. I was not happy there, and spent time trying to find a position back in industry. I moved to Redford Township, about a mile from Livonia, MI in August 2012. I continued showing Joce, and brought Math with me. About a month after moving to Redford Collette offered to let me have one of her retired brood bitches, Elle. I in turn offered to let Math go to NC with Marci (who brought Elle up from NC for me). I knew that Math was not happy, and he needed a change. So Math went down to NC with Marci and Elle moved in with me. Elle was not the easiest pup to live with, everything had to be taken up, as she ate everything, and was very fast. Before I got her she had had 2 obstruction surgeries, 1 c-section and a spay. Within a month of her coming to live with me she had to have another obstruction surgery. Elle didn't last very long as she was hit by a car while being watched while I was away at a show.

Joce winning BOB and her 2nd major.

During the summer of 2012, before I moved to the east side, I went to a show in VA with Danielle and Collette. It was a 4 day show in July, and I got to see my dear friend Carla again. I wasn't too happy during the trip, but the one memory that stays with me is the day that Joce got her 2nd major. Joce went WB, and was one of 3 girls in the ring for breed. Amazingly enough Joce went BOB, and while I was ecstatic, as she beat her full sister Whinney, as I looked out of the ring I was Collette crying ringside, and not tears of joy. She actually made the handler on Whinney to go back in and ask the judge why Joce got BOB over Whinney. I was very taken aback, and amazed that a breeder/co-owner of a dog would do that in front of the person who owned the dog! I even called my mom's co-owner/co-breeder about it. After many discussions with a good friend who was as appalled, I began to realize that Collette was one I really didn't want to be to closely associated with. I did continue to deal with her as a business associate, but started pulling back away from being associated with her.
I showed less after the VA trip, as after I got the job in the charter school I was extremely busy. I did go to Cleveland in December for the Crown Classic, and got a point there.
After working for 4 months at the charter school I realized that I could not be there any longer. I hated my job, the people who worked there and the kids, and I knew I was not meant to teach high school chemistry. I worked on finding an industry job, gave my notice at the school, left the beginning of Feb. and made plans to move back to Dad's house. I also traveled down to Greenville, SC in Feb. to show Joce (and hopefully finish her!!). I was successful in that, going WB the 3 days we entered, and finishing Joce's CH. My first show dog, and I was able to finish her all owner-handled!! I hoped mom would be proud of me, I like to think she was.

Joce finishing her Championship

After Greenville I went and moved my stuff back to dad's, moving into the basement (larger area). In May Joce and I went to WI for our National, and had fun reconnecting with friends who lived further away. Joce made the first bitch cut at the National, and I was so proud of her. We also competed in Rally, and she got her first RN leg. After the National we went back to dad's, and I worked on finding a job that I liked. I also brought Joce down to Collettes to try and breed her to a dog owned by Cindy B. Joce didn't take (which was a good thing on 2 counts, one we ended up moving right when it wouldn't have been good for any puppies, and two, the dog we tried to breed her to was not the conformation I really would want to have bred to my girl). While waiting to find the good job, I took a QC job in Kalamazoo, but I knew that it was not the permanent job in industry that I wanted. I was contacted by a headhunter in TX, for a job in Louisiana. I went to LA to interview for the job and was made an offer in July, which I accepted.
Another momentous event happened in July for our family. Kate and Alex got married July 13, 2013. Andrew, Jette, Chris and Chris' then girlfriend came over for the wedding. I had such a great time with them, and with Kate's family! I adore Kate, and am so happy that Alex proposed and she accepted. They are such a great couple together!
I then moved to Lake Charles, LA Labor Day weekend 2013. I began work at a surfactant company in Sept. 2013. The work is ok...still not the job I am happy at, but one that I have been ok with for the past 2 years. I ended up renting a house in LC right down the road (in fact 3 houses down) from Milford and Peggy, two CSCA members.

Saturday night in snowbound MI

So this is the second Saturday of the new year. I am sitting here watching Great Balls of Fire with the puppies (got to let them know there is a wide range of music...not just what I normally listen too...LOL). There is supposed to be more snow tonight, so tomorrow, if the papa gets the needed ingredients, I will make chilli in my new dutch oven I got for Christmas...whoohoo!!
It has snowed quite a bit, and Joce is back in snow heaven...she  doesn't want to come in when she goes out for a walk...she loves the snow way too much!!! She was limping a bit this evening, but I think that might be because she had snow in her foot, or growing pains...hope that it is one or the other....as we are entered in Novi at the end of the month, and I would hate to have to pull her!! It has now actually turned into Sunday...and I am still awake!!
This week I got the pictures of Joce during hunt training...they are great!! Joce really loves to be out, no matter what the weather <vbg>.

Joce 2nd or 3rd time out at hunt training

I got it....

See...I am such a good girl!!

Here are the latest pictures from our last time out...we had such great fun, I got to meet Archie and Nancy, and watch Nancy work Archie....great to see others training our Clumbers for what they are bred to do!!

Almost got it!!

Found it ...'and I got it!

Come back to me Joce...you have to bring it to me...

Clumber Spaniel Nationals....a week plus ....

On April 19th I packed up my dad's white van (of course with way to much stuff....but you never know what you will need, and you always need to be prepared...my mother taught me this in her 30 years of traveling with dogs....very similar to the boy scouts, LOL), and got ready to leave to pick up my Facebook and phone friend, Kara Hamilton. We had only ever talked on the phone, and we were sharing a room near Tampa for the Hunt Test, and then in Orlando for the National. I decided before I left that day, since I didn't need to be to Kara's until about 8pm that I would trim Jocelyn's pad hair on her feet....so I started trimming....in a semi-dark room, as I couldn't find the control for the over-head light....guess what- BIG MISTAKE!!!! Lesson learned, never, ever, ever trim a dogs pads, while they are lying on their side , in a semi-dark room....because you will make a mistake and accidentally cut UP into the top hair on their feet! I felt like I had butchered her feet...luckily I didn't do that much damage, and we were able to salvage my mistake...but I learned my lesson with that mistake. Well, I finally got everything in the van, got Joce into the van and took off to Ohio. Before I went to Kara's, I was going to go to an Outlet Mall near her house, as she had told me about this store where she had gotten some really nice suits really cheap. By the time I went to go to the store 3/4 weeks later, the great deals were over, but they were still reasonably priced (not to get as many as Kara had got, but to get 2 suits, 1 I ended up wearing to the Awards Banquet) and a nice pair of sandals. I left there and got to Kara's shortly after she got home from work, and we ate some dinner, and waited for her boyfriend to help us load up the van, and then managed to squeeze 3 more dogs, and a lot more stuff into the van. In fact, you couldn't see out the back window (so no review window for the trip while the van was fully loaded!!). After a very very very long trip, we finally got to the promised land of Florida (GO GATORS!!!) and checked into the hotel, unpacked, took a short nap, and then tried to find the hunt grounds. That was an experience in itself!! There was no sign out, and the directions were not helpful at all, we ended up stopping at a gas station and asking someone local for directions. The guy was very helpful, and we found it with his directions....when we got on the grounds we ran into the groundskeeper, Debbie...who was the sweetest, most awesome lady!! She drove us around, showing us different places on the grounds, including this stand of trees by the pond and told us the story about a coven of witches who had planted them...the trees are called the 7 sisters, and when the sisters had grown large enough, one of them was chopped down for the coven to use as an alter.

The Seven Sisters



Looking Straight up standing within the 7 Sisters

Debbie had no idea that I was pagan, nor did Kara...and I was so fascinated by the story...got the pictures of the Sisters the first day of the hunt...was just so cool!!
So the Hunt Test was held on Friday April 22 and Saturday April 23...and both days were fun. It turned out that half the people entered, and a few of the judges, were people I had met at the July Hunt Test I volunteered at last year, including the gunners!! It was like old home week...seeing friends that I had met last year, and catching up with them. I got to introduce my beautiful Jocelyn to them...and even though we didn't qualify, we had fun, and I got some nice compliments on her style (especially when they found out we had only gotten to train 8 times before we tested  LOL). The main problem we have (or she has  :-) ) is returning the bird to me...we knew this before we entered, but I sort of hoped that by some miracle she might return to me...LOL. We did have one little "incident" on Friday, after everyone who qualified did their water retrieves, they let the rest of us retrieve the left over birds from the water, and when Joce and my turn came, she gave one of the judges a big scare. It was only her second time in the water, and when she dove in the water and went for the bird it was a bit further out than when we trained her the first time in the water. When Joce gets to the bird, she submerges herself completely under the water, head and all...and looks for the bird underwater. In FL when she got to the bird, because it was further than she had gone before, she submerged herself under the water like she did the first time...and then she started thrashing a bit...and then rocking back and forth. The one judge started telling me she thought that Joce was having problems, and the more Joce did this the more upset the judge got. I was telling the judge that this was the way Joce looked for the bird, but after a few minutes, because the judge was getting more and more upset I started to panic too. At one point it almost looked like Joce flipped completely over in the water, and at the same time I heard the owner of the property say in the distance "Hey it looks like a little Beluga Whale" (there was also a bit of laughter from those near him)...but the same time the judge next to me is saying "You need to go get your dog, she is having a seizure" . At this point, my heart started pounding a bit, and I started forward, and just then, Joce righted herself, turned in the water (the bird had floated off two or three feet to her left), saw the bird and went swimming right for it. When she got to it she dived under the water again (not as ungainly as before), grabbed the bird, swam to the shore and I went and got her and the bird. It was a bit tense for a bit...but everything came out well in the end!! Saturday went OK...she trapped the first bird, eventually brought it back to me, was allowed to go onto the next bird, but when she flushed the second one, and the gunners shot it and she eventually found it, she plopped down and said..."I'm not losing this one to you too...it's mine and I'm not bringing it back to you!!! Nahnahnah!!!" I met lots of cool people at the Hunt test...whom I got to know better the following week in Orlando. Three of these were John and Naiza (John's wife-both are sweet and awesome), and Paula (and her crew Henry and Wilson- whom Joce really liked to give kisses too). Paula loves horses and dogs, two of my favorite species...so she rocks!!!
After Kara and I finished we went back to the hotel, packed up and went onto Orlando...and got set up finally in our hotel room. Not much happened Saturday, and Sunday we started running into more of the Clumber crowd...like Cristy E and Jimmy...and Kelly and Cajun among the first we hung out with. Sunday night about 10 of us went out to a pricey seafood buffet, were I met Colleen and a really neat couple Richard and Joan. I got to know Richard and Joan better over the rest of the week...and man are they fun. They brought Owen with them, and he was a handsome guy. I got to spend some great times with R&J...can't wait to hang with them again in the near future!!! Kelly is fun too, and we have a bit in common, she is into physics, and I am into chemistry...not to many ladies are science geeks, so nice to meet someone with a bit of a common background!!
There were so many people I got to spend time with, Roe, my great friend and mentor here in MI, Collette, Joce's "grandma" and someone I am getting to know better everyday and whom I respect and am very lucky to have in my corner, Jim & Shirley F, who have been mentoring me here in MI and Kassie also here in MI who has been so very helpful in mentoring me here in MI and Danita who I have had the pleasure of getting to over the course of some of the MI shows recently. I also got to meet many of the people that I have becomes friends with either on Facebook or through one of the yahoo groups for Clumber's. I also got to talk to an old friend of my mom's, and tell him of her passing, and reconnect with him. It was nice to see him after 20+ years, and talk about mom with him. It was because of him that I knew about Clumber's, and I truly thank him for introducing me to my first Clumber Spaniel back when I used to go to shows regularly with mom. I probably spent too much money...but that was OK, because it was a National  LOL...and I know mom did the same thing at her National's  :-)
Joce did OK, not great, but I was happy. I bought her originally for hunting, and then decided I wanted to show her, and damn is she birdy!! Compared to her sisters, she is not necessarily what judges may be looking for, but I love her!!! She did get Best Kisser at the Fun and Games contest, and at the National Sweeps we placed 3rd, in Regular class 2nd, and on Friday in the Regional Sweeps and Regular class again it was 3rd and 2nd.

Joce's take from the National

We definitely had a blast....wish we could go next year to Texas, but I will be in school, and don't think I will be able to get away for that long  boohoo!!!











Days you wonder why???

There are days that you wonder why am I here? What am I contributing and who would care if I wasn't here. I have been wondering that quite a bit recently....and I absolutely don't have the answer to any of these questions. The only thing that makes anything worth it is Joce....and I do wonder if that is enough sometimes.

Life Changes

So it has been awhile since I posted here...a major change has happened. On Jan 17th, I (and my family) lost my beloved mother. I had had a feeling that she wasn't doing well when I came home in August, but I believe that I was denying that anything would happen to her. She was supposed to live longer, and come live with me when I got back on my feet and had my own place. We would have been great...I love her and she was one of the biggest inspirations of my life. My mom raised my brother and me, almost as a single mom, because my dad was in the army, and was not around much while I was growing up. Mom was awesome, even when I was a total brat...and as I got older we became even closer!! She was my best friend, someone that I could always talk to and who was always there for me and my children. She taught me everything I know about dogs and showing, and now and for the rest of my life anything that I do in showing will be in her honor and memory!
My mom grew up in NJ, and moved to MI when she was 16 yo. She always had fond memories of where she came from, and fostered that in my brother and I. Family was very important also...I grew up calling her cousin's Aunt and Uncle, and I got to know my east coast family better than I knew most of my father's family, and they lived here in the same town that we now live in. Every year, we would go to my Aunt's house for holiday dinners, this was her sister, and I grew up sort of thinking that my older cousin's were more like siblings than cousin's. When I left to go to college, my mom got into dog showing, and for the next 30 years she showed and raised Lhasa's. She introduced me into her world, and because of her I was accepted, and would do my best to help wherever I could. My ability to step in and start handling my own dog this past fall was do to her. Yes I need practice, but I understand so much more about the show world than if I had never been exposed to it.
When I had my children, and decided to go back to college, she was always there for me! She would proof-read any paper that I had, and listen while I told her what I had been introduced to that day. She was my strongest supporter, and thought that I could do anything. Because of her, I got two BS degrees and one MS, and I am trying to go back and earn another. She was always there if I needed her, if nothing else just to talk and vent for the day.


For the past 10+ years, I would call her if not every day, at least every other day. There were often days I would call 2 or 3 times...just to tell her about something that happened, or something I saw on TV, of just to hear her voice....that will be what I miss most, not being able to tell her exciting news, or just say hi.

I will miss her to the day I die, I was so blessed to have her as my mom...everything I am is due to her...Miss you mom!!!

Mom and Cindy...with RJ, one of her first champions



Mom, Alex and Nick on Thanksgiving 2010